Top 10 Reasons why Ministers’ Wives Need Friends

10. because sometimes you need a friend to offer a helping hand or listening ear when you feel like you can’t keep up with expectations

9. because all the deacon’s wives already have one–or at least they think they do

8. you will be better able to find the place where forgiveness can flow when you have someone to listen to you and pray for you and with you

7. your husband will preach better sermons when he doesn’t have to worry about avoiding eye contact with those who have offended you

6. because even ministers’ wives need someone to shop with who can tell you if those jeans make your—well, if they aren’t flattering

5. ministers’ wives need to be able to relax with someone who knows you and loves you anyway

4. when the opportunity for a trip comes, you will need someone you can trust to keep your kids!

3. minsters’ wives need someone to ask you tough questions and push you spiritually

2. we ALL need someone to laugh with, even if its to keep from crying

1. because there is a friend that sticks closer than those ‘last 10 lbs’!! —find her

ok, ok..some of these are more serious and some less but the truth is that we were all created for relationships and it is through relationships with others that we can be the best most effective influence for godly living.

blessings to you–Rachel


10 responses to “Top 10 Reasons why Ministers’ Wives Need Friends

  1. so… even Jesus had friends…. I would say if He thought it was important for himself… it’s important for us too.

  2. robyn! you are exactly right–of course- and that is something that i shared int he main session on the subject…great minds and all that:)

  3. Fun and true, we need accountability and someone to laugh and cry with us. Love it!!!

  4. thanks carla! do you have any good ‘friend’ tips for other wives out there?? it really seems to be one of the biggest issues swirling around us right now!

  5. Great! I’m a new pastor’s wife and I have zero friends in our new church. I have plenty of “I know your name” people, but no one to talk to when things get tough or I just need to talk. I had no idea being a minister’s wife was going to be so lonely.

    • Amy, hang in there! It takes a while sometimes to get the whole friend thing figured out and for people to realize that you are a real person who is normal except that you’re married to their pastor. Be real and let them get to know you –I’m sure they will love you:)

      ps..and you can always talk to us on here whenever you want…where do y’all live?

  6. Sorry to take so long to reply. I am far from having all the answers, but a few suggestions I can make;) Pray about it, a lot. God made us for friendships. That being said, make sure Jesus is your best friend, He will never betray you, let you down…. Sometimes when that relationship is as it should be, others fall into place. Another tip, be careful. Some folks are distant, some want to be your best buddy for a variety of reasons, prestige (though I don’t really get that), to be “in the know”. That is why prayer is so important. Have coffee or lunch with some ladies and see if you “click” with anyone (not clique;))). And remember, they don’t have to be the same age, although common life stages may give you more to talk about. You can pray together, memorize Scripture, have play dates if you have young children. This probably doesn’t need mentioning, but never shift into “overshare about personal or church matters.” That will always end badly. I have a dear friend in our church. We meet weekly for prayer, accountability and memorization of Scripture. It is a huge blessing in my life. Just move slowly and carefully and I am sure the Lord will answer this need in your life. You may get hurt in the process, but the benefits outweigh the risk. I have seen pastor’s wives who have retreated into a shell. It seems a sad way to live. And, as Rachel said, you have us. I will try not to take so long to check in!! Hope this made a little sense, I tend to ramble, can you tell? Anyway, I will be praying for you, Amy. Also, if there are other pastor’s wives in your area, that is another place to check.

  7. As a ministers wife,I am trying to get the elders wives to connect,I am havinga monthly coffee with them.Not all have ever showed up..I am new to the church and would love for us to connect and have some support for eachother.Any suggestions on how I could better connect with them or book that will help me.I love these ladies .thanks

    • Dori<
      I love your heart to connect with these women. In my experience having any show up can be good and it's pretty rare for all of any sized group to make it to one gathering. If you tend to see that the large group isn't drawing the amount of ladies you would like then maybe you could try some smaller get togethers to build connections before trying another large group meeting. For instance invite a few wives to meet for coffee, lunch or whatever. As you spend time getting to know a few then a few others and so on, you may build even better relationships and then when you try to host a larger gathering then you will have more ladies to help draw the others in. Sometimes we have seen that some wives who need the relationships the most are the exact ones who resist the opportunities, so don't get discouraged and focus on the ones who respond for now while praying for the others to see the need. Blessings on your new ministry and good luck:)

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