Author Archives: Jennifer

What am I entitled to as a Pastor’s wife?

I am teaching James by Beth Moore right now and I have come across a thought that I keep pondering. In week 5, on day 4 of our homework, it says, “Nothing muffles conviction as effectively as entitlement.” How does this apply to me in ministry? Do I go about thinking that anyone owes me anything? I didn’t think so until God reminded me of a few instances:
1. When I raise my voice with my kids I am thinking if they had obeyed I wouldn’t have to do that. I was entitled to do that since they didn’t obey.
2. When my husband is late for supper then I don’t have to give him a warm supper. I am entitled to do that since he was late.
3. When I am running late then it is ok to take a front row spot at that church event. I am entitled to do that since I will be later if I don’t.
4. I don’t have to go out of my way to talk with someone that I know was out gossiping about our church this week. Since they are wrong in what they said I can be wrong in how I act toward them.  I am entitled to not be friendly since I have a reason.
Ok enough examples but I think you get the point. I really do see how conviction evades me when I rationalize and feel entitled to what I do and say. Wow! I don’t want to be guilty of not allowing conviction to break my heart or those around me on what breaks God’s heart. I want to be someone that is sensitive and not entitled to anything. If I am entitled to anything then it is only because of what Jesus has done for me …
1. I am entitled to love others because Jesus loved me and gave Himself up on a cross for me and gives me His Spirit living within me to empower me to love others.
2. I am entitled to live a life having a relationship with the creator of the universe and I can talk to Him whenever because of Jesus having a plan for my life.
3.  I am entitled to be called a child of God because of Jesus making a way for me to have a heavenly Father.                                                                                                                 4.  I am entitled to be light in the darkness because Jesus showed me the light.

Yes, I am an entitled pastor’s wife but not because of anything that I have done or deserve!  Don’t let entitlement keep you from being convicted where God wants you to be, but do let entitlement in Him keep you living as a daughter of the King.

Sometimes Minister’s wives just need to have fun!

     As minister’s wives our days can be filled with a lot of stress.  All in one day you may deal with a woman who found out she has cancer, hear from someone dealing with an addiction or encounter someone whose husband just left them. Heavy stuff!  Not to mention added to this you have the stress of general family life and/or a job too.  When you encounter several days or weeks  at a time of major heartache and sad stories then life can seem overwhelming.

      I remember after being in ministry a few years, I came to the realization that David and I needed to schedule fun into our lives.  It sounds odd but after several days of crisis or heavy situations I learned we needed to schedule in time with replenishing couples or time just for us.  We needed time to have fun and laugh.  If you don’t take time for this, then you can find yourself drained and depressed and unable to pour into others.  Watch your fun gauge and make sure to be intentional of bringing some laughter into your lives.  Scripture even encourages us to do this!  

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”  Proverbs 17:22 

Joyfully,

Jennifer

Time with other Minister’s Wives

     I have just returned from a Metro Conference with other Minister’s wives.  It is always refreshing to meet with someone else “in my shoes.”  What is it about just being with other minister’s wives that helps us so much?

 Is it knowing that someone else has encountered some of the same things that we have?

 Is it knowing that someone else can understand us?

 Is it knowing that others have encountered problems in their churches and survived?  

Is it knowing that others deal with balancing their family and church?

Is it knowing that we are not alone even though lonely at times?

Is it having that confidence that we can really share with one another?

Is it  just the presence of being with other women who love the Lord and love His church?

Is it in knowing that someone understands the pressures we face?

I don’t know what it is but I do know that time with other minister’s wives can be refreshing.  If it has been a while for you then I suggest you find another friend in ministry and if you can’t get together in person over lunch then at least give a phone call.  It is time well spent when you can refresh yourself because then you can refresh others!  Blessings!  Jennifer

New book for Minister’s Wives

     I wanted to share a new book with you that is hot off the press for minister’s wives, 10 Things Every Minister’s Wife Needs to Know by  Jeana Floyd.  She has been a minister’s wife for over 32 years so I don’t know about you but I sure want to listen when I know someone has that much experience in this role!

Here are a few quotes out of her book to let you get a glimpse of it:

“I have observed that rarely is a minister successful at ministry when his wife is miserable.”

“Ministry is not the motive; glorifying His name is the motive.”

“God has placed you with your husband in this position at this time to be an “influencer.”‘

“Does treating others the way you want to be treated guarantee you’ll always be treated equally well?  Not at all, but it is the right thing to do regardless of how others treat you.”

“I think one of the healthiest things a church family can see is your staff team loving one another.”

“Spoil your husbands not your children.”

“When you attempt to lead or overstep your boundaries as a wife, you put a strain on your relationship with the other wives.”

“Don’t always rescue your child when he does not get what he wants.”

“Your response to criticism, conflict, or crisis is a testimony to others.”

“Let the men be the men.”

Just a few exerpts to let you know what the book is about.  What are some books that you have read that have been meaningful to you as a minister’s wife?  I would love to hear some.  Thanks!  Jennifer

What I wish I’d known before I was a minister’s wife

I found this list I wrote several years ago after being in the ministry for about 12 years.  Thought I’d pass it along and see what you might add to it or take away from it.

1.  I would always go to Sunday school classes by myself.

2.  I would always be driving separately to church.

3.  I would be the one to stay home and miss church if anyone was sick.

4.  I would not get to talk to my husband too much when at church because so many want his attention.

5.  I would have the responsibility of getting all the kids ready by myself and get them to church and have to leave them crying at classes when they were little by myself.

6.  I would have to learn to say NO at times or I would be given many responsibilities and crises to deal with and it would take up all my time.

7.  I would be responsible to help kids with all church activities such as verses to memorize, songs to learn, tithes, crafts or whatever is needed.

8.  Our relationship can affect my husbands preaching on Sundays.

9.  I would be aware of many situations that I would be unable to talk with anyone about.

10.  There would be lonely times and I would have to adjust to being on my own at times.

11.  I won’t have another adults opinion on what I wear before getting to church.

12.  We wouldn’t have a family breakfast together on Sunday morning.

13.  Sundays would be different for us – too hard for a big meal most days.

14.  I would have a zombie husband on Mondays.

15.  I would be expected to guard our time.

Some of these sound quite negative and maybe that is where I was 7 years ago.  I am not sure.  I know everyone’s situation can be different depending on size of church, multiple services, your husbands gifts, and seasons of life.  Just thought I’d share where I was at this point.  Many of these things don’t apply to me right now or are not a big deal so there is hope out there for you!!  What do you wish you had known before being a minister’s wife?